Roy realized his parents’ old friend was widowed and lived about a mile away. He set up a time to visit her with our kids. Edith, a little old lady of 84, had wild white hair and sparse teeth. In an old-fashioned housecoat, she spent an hour sharing details of her past and present life. She spoke to Roy and engaged the kids. They were thrilled at the prospect of another visit.
Roy and the kids came back monthly for the next two years. Edith dispensed treats she saved for each visit. She handed out candy and trinkets found in her craft room. She might give them a crocheted octopus or a broken ring from the dime store. One time, she loaded a paper bag with old spices that she hadn’t used for years. “Maybe you can learn to cook and use these. I don’t think I’m doing any more cooking,” she quipped.
In return, the kids would sing songs or recite a poem. She was delighted. Edith had missed the day-to-day experience with her only grandchild, Ashley who lived hundreds of miles away. Ashley and her mother used to visit at Christmas, but now, high school and teen activities served as an obstacle to visits. Our kids brought back the joy of children in the home.
Our kids treasured these visits. The only set of grandparents they had living were eight hours away.
Connections Through Visits
Additionally, Roy treasured the visits. They served as a link to his parents who had passed away. Furthermore, he was reminded of the long history of friendship between Edith, her husband, and his parents. And they awakened memories of his youth—the dinners, the badminton and pinochle games. They told stories of cars breaking down and trying to garner enough money to buy a turkey dinner for Thanksgiving. Additionally, when I was able to go, I learned more about my husband’s childhood.
Edith’s death and lessons learned
Losses happen, old people decline and die. And the benefit of this friendship was invaluable to Edith, Roy, Edith’s daughter, me, and our kids. The hole in Edith’s life with her family far away was happily filled. The kids learned to understand the life of an old lady.
Edith passed away after a lengthy decline from heart failure. Her daughter, who had visited more often during that time, thanked us for all the attention we had given her in her last years.
Our kids attended the funeral for Edith. Some try to shield their children from loss, but the sadness was not too much for them to bear. Indeed, the experience of losing an old friend to death helped equip them with knowledge of the reality of life. That will certainly help them for the rest of their lives.
We all miss our old friend, but the joy of that friendship outweighed the sorrow.
Leave a Reply